Abandoned in Abundance

beyond lurks a quiet monster not even myself can handle
deeper darker drenched drunken desperate damned
my gnome of abyss seeping out into blatant light
it is molecular me materializing into being

don’t ask me what are these
don’t ask me what art can be
don’t ask me if i’ve tried my best
don’t ask me if i’ve cleared my debt
don’t ask me if i’ve a driving licence
don’t ask me if i’ve paid my endless bills
don’t ask me if i can be an light or sound operator
don’t ask me if i can do technical work and not direct
don’t ask me if there’s life after death and if love conquers all
don’t ask me anything if you have your own intelligent better answers

actually, is anyone asking… … anything

listening to the silent headphones
approving the avenging nothingness
pretending that melody floods and drowns
banned from being a fool with no memories becoming love   

an indecent blank stare into the hot rainy night
mindlessly  afloat in an unforgiving vacuum of sinister insight
a ghastly gasp of vulgar rancid air in disgusting delight
a violating breathe of frantic hideous plight
alone aloof assuming a stature of meaningless nothingness in twilight
is it the emptied me or the tortured beast trapped within in senseless fright?

does it matter which way each leads to?

automated, switched off or e basic stairs?
the seemingly convenient escalators dictates one’s direction in ascendance or descending… yet its the grueling basic stairs that offer freedom of one’s path… it offers rest the conveyor wouldn’t allow unless one switches it off…

thus in the end, it merely becomes the ordinary… the one that has always been there… just because one doesn’t activate, it doesn’t mean one isn’t awaiting for you to eventually realise one’s importance…

but meanwhile… who are you, where are you, when will you walk this way… do i already know you?